More Vacation Notes

Today was my first day back at work after a week away. I'm in the office for a whopping two more days before the Saint, the kids and I go on vacation again.

Part I of the vacation was Grandchildren's Week. Yes, my Mom and Dad take the kids for a week every summer. Yes, the Saint and I get to go off by ourselves. Yes, you know where we went. Yes, we all know we're lucky.

About that special vacation place: The waiters serve booze on the beach. We usually arrived at our lounge chairs at around 10:30 in the morning and stayed until at least 5. The servers arrived soon after we did.

The morning of my birthday, the Saint and I toasted the occasion. (Random aside: For some reason, I drink banana daiquiris on the beach. I still drink bourbon at night. End of random aside.)

Soon after our toast, the Saint issued this memorable line: "I just had a f&$%ing Margarita for breakfast!" You'll notice that I said nothing about the daiquiri I drank in accompaniment. The funny part, for those of you who don't know the Saint yet, is, yes, that really was her first breakfast Maragarita.

So, Part II of the vacation is with the kids (we're thinking maybe next summer we'll do the part with the kids first so then we can recharge our batteries while the kids have Grandchildren's Week). We're going to Gettysburg. Honest, my sons picked the destination, not me. Yes, I'm being a nerd and rereading The Killer Angels. I'm also cheering, very loudly, because my boys are History buffs like their old man.

Then we're going to Hershey for fun, games and chocolate. That's 16 hours on the road, for those of you keeping score at home. But it'll be fun.

Speaking of fun, drinking beers with Lt. Ed Novak was fun. Wow, did I hear some stories. That's another aside, but it's not random.

Today, after work, I started the next vacation countdown. The next vacation countdown isn't as much fun as the first vacation countdown was.

Here's what I need to do:

• Fill the gas tank. Again. With the van, we can usually stretch one tank for an entire month. This will be 4 fill-ups in 8 days, and since we're driving 16 hours, there'll be at least three more fill-ups. On the upside, we usually fill the Jeep once a week, and we haven't filled it in two, but we've driven it a total of 1.3 miles in that two weeks.
  
• Mow the lawn. Oldest son doesn't know it yet, but he's nominated, seconded and elected to that job. Check that. He just called in from a friend's house. He knows now.
  
• Weed whack fucking near everything. I'll censor the Saint's quotes, because she's a Saint. I won't censor mine because I'm not. By the way, I weed whacked fucking near everything tonight, so that job's done. I also fought the mosquitoes to a draw. There might be a couple of unbitten spots on my arms, but you really need to see what a weed whacker-mosquito collision looks like. You tap the trigger on the weed whacker just right, and the mosquito evaporates into this tiny red mist. It's so much fun that you don't even care that the red mist came out of your arm. Trust me, or better yet, try it. Honestly, you won't feel deranged after half an hour of this. You'll think it's fun.
• Fix the tail light on the van. I think the Saint did that today, but I'm listing it here to generate sympathy for the looooong to-do list I have to get done by Wednesday night.
• Mapquest a route to Gettysburg from Boston.
• Mapquest Gettysburg to Hershey.
• Then Mapquest Hershey to home. Okay, I did those three, too, but don't they make my list look longer, especially when I list them as three tasks instead of one? I think Jim Atwell wrote a column about to-do lists. Be back in a minute.... Yes, Jim's column on to-do lists is right here. In fact, he talks about taking a list and adding things to it, after the fact, to make the list look longer. So, yeah, Jim, I think I just stole that whole bit from you. Sorry.**
  
• Make dinner plans with Godfather to the Oldest Son and Best Man from Our Wedding. Yes, the same guy has both titles, much like Victoria was Queen of England, Ireland, Scotland & Wales, and Empress of All India. Let's see, if Vicki were alive today, her title would be... Queen of England and Wales, Trying but Failing to Hold onto Scotland, and Shit, Ireland and India are Long Gone. Does the sun set on the British Empire now? Yeah, I think so. Did I have anything to do with that? No, but I'm in a taunting mood.
• Arrange for somebody to feed The Obese Feline. Got that one started, so I believe it's another list lengthener.
• Ditto on the "Get somebody to bring in the newspapers and mail" task. Same kid, from a few houses down, is feeding The Obese Feline AND removing papers and mail from the porch. But doesn't it look better as part of my to-do list? What's the sense of a been-done list? I mean other than the sense of accomplishment you get when you do the last thing on it. Trust me. That feeling's fleeting. As soon as I finish one list, somebody (read: The Saint) hands me another.
• Put up a blog post about how hard it is to get ready for vacation. See how I slipped in another completed task? Jim Atwell was onto something.
  

Okay, I think I'm done. We're out of here Thursday morning. Maybe even Wednesday night. I won't be working on the novel while we're on the road. You may see a blog post. You may not.

We'll be passing through the heart of Pennsylvania Dutch country. Anybody want some Scrapple? Please, please, please say no.

Adam

** Not really